...

have to solve it, i am really annoyed by myself! i cant stand living in gloom and doom, option--

1/keep sad, until i get used to it

2/distraction by doing sth i dislike normally

3/a real breakdown

4/have a face-to-face chat

option 1: doing, and occasionally works

option 2: also doing, and trying to do some sports, right, i hate sports, cleaning my room, and going out all the time to avoid confrontation caused by my bad mood!

option 3: i call my situation sadness leakage or diffusion, urghhhhhhh, please explode and give me a one-off emotional breakdown

option 4: i just can't do it, but i know it's the ultimate remedy, the most useful one, if i can make it. coz it's the culprit of the problem, and also what we both try to avoid, i guess.

ok, back to square one, empty talk again, feel hungry and tired (again!). gotta take a shower and soak my tv drama (lie to me this time) up.

Water under the bridge

too passive too cautious to conserve to preserve
too similar, a loop
vicious cycle

it should be a  mistaken period
but mistakenly a semicolon

what makes the door shut, brutally, and brutally
seeking a slight light out of the lingering nightmare
in vain